Sleep struggles haven’t come out of nowhere.
All day your brain is bombarded – messages, feeds, alerts, conversations, decisions, and tiny dopamine hits every time you tap, scroll, or refresh. By the time you get into bed, your body might be tired, but your mind is still wired for “more”: more thinking, more solving, more checking your mental to do lists.
No wonder it’s so difficult to slow your mental process down and quieten down to a peaceful state.
This article isn’t about forcing yourself to sleep. It’s about tiny, repeatable ways to help your nervous system feel safe enough to stand down, so sleep can actually find you.
If you’ve read our other pieces like:
Escape the Spell of Social Media Influence, We Are the Product or How to Stop Overthinking, you already know the modern attention system is designed to keep you mentally “on”. Night-time is often when that catches up with us.
13 Ways to Fall Asleep When Your Brain Won’t Switch Off
1. Name What’s Happening (Instead of Labelling Yourself Broken)
Start by naming the pattern, not just resisting the state.
A racing mind at night is a very human response to an overstimulated day. Your system is still in “day mode” – and sometimes trying to protect you from forgetting, failing, or missing something. When you frame it that way (“my nervous system is trying too hard to help”), there’s a little more space to allow a different process to begin.
Below we will explore some ways you can redirect your brains focus, and allow it to let go.
You can deepen this idea with understanding:
How the Amygdala Hijacks Your Daily Life
and
How Can I Tame My Inner Critic?.
2. Do a Two-Minute Bedside Brain Dump
When everything lives in your head, your mind is stuck in mental loops trying to make sure nothing is forgotten. Before you turn out the light, (or even a scribble in the dark) grab a notebook and quickly dump what’s swirling:
- to-dos
- worries and shoulding on yourself
- “don’t forget this” items
- random ideas you don’t want to escape the moment
Messy bullets or scribbles are fine (no need to be perfect); you’re not planning your life, just parking inspiration or worry somewhere safe. Your brain doesn’t need every problem solved – it mostly needs things stored not solved urgently so your thoughts are moved to your subsconcious mind. Alot of problem solving goes on while you are asleep, as you may have experienced yourself already.
3. Use NOBS to Create a Night-Time Gap
This is where the Gap and your NOBS micro-practice come in. The “stimulus” at night is often a thought:
“I forgot to…” “What if tomorrow…” “I’ll be wrecked if I don’t sleep…”
Instead of reacting automatically, you can run a quick NOBS (from
NOBS: A Simple Micro-Practice to Calm Reactivity
and
Getting in the Gap):
- Notice – “My mind is spinning.”
- Observe – “It’s trying to protect me from forgetting or messing up.”
- Breathe – one slow, easy exhale.
- Select – “I’m going to write this down and choose rest instead of more thinking.”
You’re widening the Gap, even if it’s midnight.
4. Give Your Brain “Office Hours” So It Stops Working Overtime at Midnight
If your brain thinks 2am is the right time to process unresolved stuff, it will keep hijacking bedtime.
Try setting small “office hours” earlier in the day – 10–15 minutes to journal, plan, or think through the stuff that usually arrives at 11pm. When something pops up at night, you can gently remind yourself:
“This goes to tomorrow’s office hours, not now.”
That trains your mind to trust there is a safe, dedicated container for thinking and problem-solving that isn’t your pillow.
5. Make a Rule: If It Loops Twice, Write It Down
Create a simple rule so you don’t have to negotiate with every thought:
If the same thought loops more than twice, it goes on paper.
Examples:
- “Email Jo about invoice” → write “Email Jo – invoice”
- “Book GP to check X” → write “Book GP re: X”
- “Idea for new post” → write 2–3 keywords you’ll recognise tomorrow
Scribble one short line, close the notebook, and put it down. This tells your system: “It’s captured. You don’t have to rehearse it all night.”
6. Soften Jaw, Forehead and Eyes – a Tiny Body Reset
A wired mind is often accompanied with a clenched jaw, tight neck or shoulder muscles and “strained” eyes. Your body is literally bracing.
In the dark, quietly:
- smooth your eyebrow ridges with your fingers and focus on releasing tension
- allow your teeth to be slightly apart instead of locked
- soften around the jaw hinges and just in front of the ears
- let your eyelids feel a little heavier
- tighten then release your neck and shoulder muscles
These tiny releases send “not in danger right now” messages back up to the brain. Often the shoulders and breath start to follow without you forcing them.
7. Do a Heavy-Body Scan (You Don’t Have to Finish)
Instead of arguing with your thoughts, move your attention into slow, focused intentional body sensations.
Starting at your feet and moving upward, quietly repeat a word like “soften”, “relaxed” or “rested” for each area:
- feet and ankles
- calves and knees
- thighs and hips
- belly and chest
- shoulders, arms, hands
- jaw, cheeks, forehead, eyes
Imagine gravity gently pulling each part into the mattress, or like you are floating in a warm relaxation tank. You don’t have to complete the whole session; even softening 3–4 key areas is enough to start the down-shift.
Listen to a meditation track from our library here:
8. Breathe Like You’re Already Asleep
When you’re overthinking, the breath usually become shallow and fast. Instead of trying to “think” your way to sleep, let your breath lead.
Try this for 10–20 breaths:
- Inhale gently through your nose for a count of 4
- Exhale slowly for a count of 6
Focus more on the feeling of the inhale and exhale than on getting the numbers perfect. Longer, softer exhales nudge the nervous system towards “rest and digest”. You’ll find more on this style of support in
Breathing Exercises for Anxiety
and
10 Easy Exercises for Instant Calm.
9. Stop Clock-Watching and Story-Spinning
One of the fastest ways to wake yourself up is checking the time and doing mental maths:
“It’s 1:37… if I fall asleep now, I’ll only get X hours… now it’s 2:03, tomorrow will be ruined…”
Each check spikes adrenaline and tells your system there’s a problem.
If you can, turn your clock away or use a non-glowing one. Experiment with a simple rule: no time-checking once the lights are out. Swap “How many hours am I losing?” for a softer script like:
“I am safe, there is no rush for the next 8 hours, my subconscious mind is capable and can solve things easier while I am in deep sleep.”
10. Change the Channel with Boring, Gentle Imagery
If your brain wants something to chew on. and you don’t give it a bone, it often defaults to worry and what-if scenarios.
Offer it something neutral instead:
- imagine walking slowly through a favourite place, noticing tiny details
- play an alphabet game with calm objects (A = apple tree, B = blanket, C = candle…)
- picture folding towels, stacking books or hanging washing, picking flowers, one slow movement at a time
Keep the scene repetitive and low-drama. This pairs beautifully with the tiny practices in
Tiny Rituals for a Calm Mind
and the micro-meditations in
Micro-Meditations.
11. Listen to Gentle Meditation Music Designed for Rest
Sometimes the mind needs a soft external focus to lean on. Gentle music or simple guided soundscapes can give your system a “container” so it doesn’t have to hold everything by itself.
Instead of scrolling, you can:
- put your phone on do-not-disturb
- play a soft track from your favourites
- let your attention rest on the rise and fall of the sound
I’ve put together a collection of calm, sleep-friendly tracks you can use as a backdrop for these practices here:
Meditation Music.
12. Use the 15–20 Minute Reset Instead of Fighting Restlessness
If you’re clearly wide awake and tense, lying in bed fighting it can slowly train your brain that “bed = stress and failure.”
Try this instead:
- If you feel wired for around 15–20 minutes, get up gently.
- Keep lights low and warm.
- Do something calm and boring – a few pages of a non-triggering book, a gentle stretch, making a herbal tea if that suits you.
When drowsiness returns, go back to bed and pick one of the softer practices above (brain dump, breathing, or body scan). Pick something you find super boring, and it won’t take long before it prefers sleep.
13. Be on Your Own Side About Sleep
Performance pressure around sleep is one of the biggest things that keeps people awake.
Beating yourself up for “failing at sleep” is like shouting at a child to relax – it adds another layer of stress. Instead, try a kinder frame:
- “My nervous system is trying to protect me; I’m teaching it something new and giving it some news skills.”
- “Tonight I’m practising restful focus, not perfection.”
Notice tiny improvements: falling asleep a little faster, feeling slightly calmer at 3am, panicking less about the clock. These “small wins” are how the system rewires over time. You can explore more of this gentle, long-game approach in
Compassionate Productivity
and
Small Daily Rituals.
Try One at a Time (and Build Your Own Sleep Ritual)
You don’t need to do all 13 at once. In fact, please don’t “try” to do anything to perfection.
Pick one or two that feel easiest and experiment with them for a few nights. Treat it like a tiny science project rather than a test of willpower. Your job is to create conditions where your system feels safe enough to power down. Sleep itself will do the rest.
If you’d like more support, you might enjoy:
- Mastering the Pause Between Stimulus and Response
- Introduction to the 21-Day Mindfulness Reset
- The 21-Day Mindfulness Reset Course
- The Mindfulness Quiz to see where you are starting from
- Bridie’s Slow, Easy Wintertime Mindfulness Routine for more slow, gentle pacing
I’m also putting together a Sleep Pack – with printable brain-dump pages, a simple sleep-ritual blueprint, and short audio tracks (bedtime reset, 3am reset, and heavy-body drift-off) to make all of this easier to use. You’ll find it in the store soon alongside your other Living With Clarity resources.
